


Careful what you wish for

by mayalice



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 00:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21419215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayalice/pseuds/mayalice
Summary: What if Lena got to the medallion first?
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 114





	Careful what you wish for

Lena is twenty-four and feels like the weight of the world hangs on her shoulders. Lex’s office is cold when he presents his plans to her. His eyes are distanced, and when he shows her the door he almost looks bored. Her brother is gone and is not coming back and Lena have to stop him, but all she has is the plan she stole before she left the building and a bedtime story her mother used to tell her. It has to be enough. She would make sure it is. 

The medallion is warm in her hands like there is a fire burning inside. She almost drops it when she hears a voice behind her “Lena Luthor”, there is an old man in front of her when she turns around, a messenger. She doesn’t hesitate, hasn’t come this far to now stop and question everything, and there was nothing evil in the legend she grew up with, nothing about a price to pay, no reason not to take the deal. Lex would have called her a fool if he knew, but his plan blows up in his face quite literally, Luthor Corp's labs are burning from an experience gone wrong, and when the police investigate, illegal substance and murder plans are discovered and Lex finds himself behind bars. 

Lena puts the medallion in the drawer near her bed and doesn’t think much about it for the next few months. She moves to National city. She tries to clean her family name. She tries to run a company all on her own and if things work out in her favor more often than not, she attributes it to her skills and hard effort and not some magical object she was obsessed with as a kid. 

They get to her eventually. She tries to resist, but the version of the future they show her, Lex out of jail, war and blood and pain, every person she loves turns against her or worse...  _ That pretty reporter you are so fond of stupidly tries to save the world and dies in the process, isn’t it a shame?  _ She can’t risk it. A couple of dead bodies and a piece of her soul are a small price to pay, right?

She cries the whole night after her first mission. closes herself off in her office for days and forces herself to watch the news and read every article covering the subject. it gets easier in time. In the shadows, she feels surprisingly free. She doesn’t have to be a Luthor anymore, doesn’t have to be anything in a matter of fact. She is nothing but a shadow, an angel of death. She tells herself stories, about the world she is saving, about the greater good. She sounds like Lex. 

(Maybe she is a Luthor after all). 

Sometimes they don't contact her for months and Lena hopes they are finally done with her._ Silly girl._ There is always another card waiting for her, more blood she would never be able to wash off her hands. 

She tries to do better. She reaches out to the families of her victims, she opens an anonymous fund, offers support and financial aid. It’s not much, but it’s something she can do to make the burden more bearable. 

She tries to break free. Tries to get rid of the medallion, to find where it came from and who is in control of it. But every time she feels like she is on the verge of a breakthrough she hits another dead end.

At night, she opens another bottle, drinks, and drinks and tries to forget. 

In this world, Kara tells her the truth all by herself. Lena sites on the chair across from her and watches the last piece of normalcy in her life slips away. She should have known better than believing she deserves a person like Kara in her life. It's one thing to lie to kara, but Lying to supergirl? To look at this symbol of justice, this person who protects people and fights for what she believes, and pretend she is something other than a cold-blooded murderer? It's unbearable.

She shut herself away. She is not angry. Not really. She feels betrayed, sure, but how can she blame Kara for hiding her true identity from her, when she had done nothing but lie to her from the very beginning? She is terrified of what would happen if she finds out. Would she ever forgive her? Would she give up on her and let them lock her up in one of the cells in the DEO? She probably deserves it. 

She gives in after the eighth time Kara shows up in her office with her favorite cookies. She misses her. She needs her, even if it's not going to last.

(It doesn't, not for long)

"I don't want to fight you, supergirl"

Kara is after her, or whoever she thinks the shadow girls might be, and Lena tries to escape without hurting her or exposing herself and it feels like an impossible mission. She surrenders. She had enough. She is no use to Leviathan from jail, and she is so tired of holding everything that she feels like she might explode every second now. 

She tells them everything. Lex's plan and that stupid medallion, the messenger and the cards and the people she killed. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t asks for forgiveness. Just wait for them to throw her somewhere she could stare at the walls and feel sorry for herself. 

She spends the night at the DEO clinic and wakes up to find Kara on the chair next to her. Lena can feel her eyes filling up with tears. 

“Hi” Kara’s smile is sad, but Lena would take all she can get at the moment. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t found me a nice cell yet”,

“I spoke to Alex” Kara doesn’t look her in the eyes. 

“We agreed that if you would help us fight Leviathan, we would let you go” 

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do”

“good” 

There is an invisible wall between them. One that Lena doesn’t know how to even  begin to break through. 

(She doesn't even try) 

She spends hours at the lab with Alex, who still looks at her suspiciously, like she is going to turn back into shadows if she won’t pay her close attention. Which is understandable. They find a lead eventually. A clue, hidden on the medallion itself, and they are able to lure Leviathan's followers out of hiding and into their waiting hands. 

There is a fight. It doesn’t look good. Leviathan’s agents are skilled, and there are too many of them. Lena is supposed to play double agent and switch sides with Alex's mark, but Kara is going to be severely hurt if she won’t do anything fast so she jumps in to take the blow for her. 

She wakes up at the clinic for the second time in the past forty-eight hours. Kara walks in circles around the room and hisses to herself. _stupid, so stupid._

“what happened?” 

“Lena!” Kara takes a sharp turn and Lena can see the relief spreads all over her body. “you are okay”. 

She nods. Her head hurts like crazy, but other than that, it seems like she is still in one piece. 

“I’m sorry, I know I wasn’t following the plan, and it was probably stupid because you are obviously capable of taking care of yourself, I was just, I was afraid I’d lose you”

“you saved me” Kara’s voice breaks just a little when she says it. There is something intensive in the way she looks at her. An expression Lena can’t quite recognize. 

“Did you catch them?”

“Most of them. A few manage to escape. Alex and brainy are questioning the ones we captured, trying to see if they can lead us to their leader” 

“So I didn’t mess it all up?” 

“No. The plan worked, we just weren’t as ready as we needed to be, that’s why we need to be prepared for their next move”. 

“we will”. Kara reaches for Lena’s hands and holds them for a split second before she leaves the room. 

They are ready the second time. Leviathan and its follower can’t harm anyone from the phantom zone and Lena is finally free. She shows up at Kara’s door because that’s the only place she wants to be. Kara opens the door with sweatpants and a National city university T-shirt, and they stare at each other for a long minute before Lena finds the courage to speak.

“I know I've done horrible, unspeakable things. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, I don’t think I would ever forgive myself. All this time I was trying not to be like Lex, but I was just as bad as he is”

“No. You are nothing like Lex. You are good and kind, and you care deeply about people, and you were manipulated by very evil people that took advantage of that and made you believe that you have no other choice”.

“You really believe that?”

“I do. When you jumped to save me from that blow, when I saw you lying on the ground I was afraid that you’d die thinking I hate you. And I don’t, I never did, I just needed some time to process. “

“I was so afraid. And I was so alone in this” tears are streaming from Lena’s eyes uncontrollably now.

“I wish I would have told you sooner, I wish…”

“I know” Kara holds her when she falls on her shoulders, hands wrapping her back tightly.

_I know I Know I Know I know I know_ she repeats until Lena’s shoulders relax under her touch. 


End file.
